Winter Lilies

Seems a lot and nothing has happened lately. My birthday passed without notice basically, although a few of my friends and family did wish me a happy birthday. The day after my birthday the decision was made that I move in with Dad and my sister. So that week was spent busily packing. Dad helped me move everything on Saturday. Everything but the essentials went to storage. We now reside in the upstairs of Dad’s house. It’s a blessing I suppose, as I had no money to pay rent, but it hurts too.

It’s only been a few days, and I’m already trying to figure out how to get my own place again. It’s not so much that I mind living WITH Dad, but I don’t like me and the girls having to live by the rules that Dad and Bubble set. I feel like a guest here, an intruder at times…Dad said I’m too independent to stay here long, and I guess he’s right. I think I’d be okay if Dad lived in my house, but I’m not good living in his house. I can’t have people just drop by for a visit, or have someone stay the night, not without permission anyway, and I don’t like that. But I am thankful for being able to stay here until I figure out what to do, and how to get another place to live.

*LOL* In my last post I said I’d be trying to blog more often and here the time has slipped by once again without my noticing. *sigh* Oh well, I try.

Problems continue, and yet I still try to keep a positive outlook on things. A dear friend of mine says that “every day above ground is a good day”, and I can see his point. No matter the problems of life, I am alive, the girls are alive and well, and I have some very dear friends that are always willing to lend an ear to listen to me, and a shoulder to cry on, should I feel the need to cry, which I do often of late.

Haven’t felt real good the last few days. A cold or some such thing. Throat is still a bit sore, but hopefully I will avoid laryngitis for the time being. Seems I end up with laryngitis at least once year. Last year I had it for a week. That was rough. *LOL*. Hard to talk to the girls when I have no voice.

In a few short days it will be my birthday. Can’t say I’m really looking forward to it, but I am hoping that the coming year will be a better one than this last one has been. I’m not planning anything for my birthday. Usually we go out to eat, the girls and I, but can’t afford it this year. But it’s okay, no big deal to me, though the girls are a bit disappointed. Their birthdays are what counts to me.

Anyway, I better head out and see what else I can get done today. Take care everyone.

Seems as of late not to blog has been the answer. I needed a break, am not sure I’m ready to throw my heart back into blogging full scale as I used to, but am going to try and make sure I get in here a bit more often. *S*.

Life has been a roller coaster for sure, with more downs then ups I think, but we are all still alive and breathing, so that’s something. I’ve had my battles with depression lately, it’s true, I won’t deny it, but I am coming out of the fog of indifference. Determined once more to forge on, and find a way to survive, and provide a better life for my girls.

All of us fine and mostly healthy. I do have to take the girls to the Doctor again on Friday. We went acouple of weeks ago, because both of my girls still have urinary accidents during the day. We’ve walked the road of going to Doctors for years, but they kept saying that the girls would outgrow the problem, which of course they haven’t. So we once again tried a new Doctor, and he at least is trying something other than just saying they’d outgrow it. I mean really, Des will be 10 in the fall, it’s not normal for a child of that age to have accidents on a regular basis. Meg is not much different at the age of 8, and actually she has far more accidents than Des. But we will get it all sorted out. The Doctor mentioned something about possibly seeing a specialist, which I think is a good step, and the first time it’s been mentioned by anyone, so at least he’s trying, and agrees with me that something needs done.

Anyway my dear friends, hopefully I will be back to update again soon. I have some entries to do at my others blogs, so please feel free to stop by them and comment.

Blessings to you all!

Time has been flying by for me lately…*L* seems like a reoccuring theme to my posts huh? *LOL*…Not really much has been going on here lately. Housecleaning, visiting with family, spending lots of time with the girls, schooling, and of course job hunting.

Haven’t had any luck finding a job of any sort. Am going to try putting up posters advertising babysitting, but that hasn’t worked in the past. Am trying to stay hopeful, but sometimes it’s hard.

The girls and I went down to a May Days festival thing that they have here this past Saturday. It was pretty fun. The booths and stuff like that wasn’t all that interesting, but they had a drum band from a neighboring town come down and put on a show, and the local talent show that they put on every year was fun to watch. All in all it was a nice day.

Later that night we attended a local music show with my Dad. They have different preformers come in once or twice a month and do a country/old rock show…The band is incredible, as are some of the singers that they get. It’s a lot of fun and we really enjoy going. Plus we get to spend some enjoyable time with my Dad.

Well, I better get busy doing my other blogging, and finish up with laundry and such.

I haven’t been doing any blogging lately. Haven’t been in the mood really…busy thinking of other things, doing other things.

I spent a year doing a medical transcriptioning college for seemingly no reason. All the companies want experience, and I don’t have it. I’m tired and frustrated by it. On the other hand I’m thinking about going back to college again, for a massage therapy course. It’s not that I have any real interest in massage therapy, but at least there is a huge job market for them. Maybe I could actually get a decent job. I don’t want a job, I just want to be able to stay home with my girls, but that doesn’t pay the bills.

I’m on the verge of losing my house, and electricity and everything because I don’t have the money to pay the bills. My paid blogging helps some, as does the donations from Gleaning The Harvest, but it’s not enough. I can’t let my girls be homeless, and so the job search continues, and I continue to explore options.

Well, there’s my troubles in a nutshell.

Time seems to have slipped away from me lately. Didn’t realize it had been so long since I had blogged here.

Things aren’t much better…still no job, still a constant struggle with the behavior of the girls, but we are getting by. All we can do is keep foraging ahead, and praying for a time when times get better. We are together, and that’s the most important thing!!

Still visiting with family a lot. *S*..Having them in my life, to lean on is a comfort, one I had missed dearly!! It helps keep some of the lonliness away, as well as someone to turn to when I need to vent, or need advice.

I’ve met someone…Well, sort of met…*LOL* We met online, and have talked a lot. We are just friends, but there is that possibility for a true relationship. I find myself very comfortable with him. *S* We talk about everything…It’s been really nice!

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and do a quick update, such as it was.

I haven’t really been in the mood to blog lately. Too much has been on my mind lately. Not all of it has been bad I assure you. I have been visiting with my Mom and brothers and sisters a lot more recently. Especially Steven….He’s been so good to me, and nice to me…*S*

Alot of my problems have been of the financial kind. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get a job, not working at home, not working out of the home. It’s been a hard struggle, and getting harder by the day as I keep seeing what money I have disappear, with no way in sight to replace it. I don’t want to go back to work outside the home, that’s not what I want at all!!!!! But at this point, I have to take what I can get, because I won’t let my kids be homeless.

I haven’t been in a very kind or good mood lately. I’ve been having to sort out some problems with the girls, and I’m not a patient person to start with, so I’ve been rather short-tempered and crabby lately. It’s truly not just the girls…the problems we’re having are just normal things, I’ve had a lot of other things on my mind as well.

Anyway, I feel like I have made absolutely no sense writing this, so I’m going to sign off.

In the past few weeks I’ve had the joy of reconnecting with my Aunt (whom I call Mom) and some of my cousins. The girls and I went up to where she lives this past weekend. It was only supposed to be a day visit, but ended up spending the night. Partly because their were some nasty storms in the area, but mostly because we were all having such a wonderful time together!!

Mom and I had time to talk, something we’ve always enjoyed doing. Her youngest boy took the girls to the park, and to pick out acouple of movies to watch. They watched their movies, played on Mom’s piano, played with the dog and cat, climbed all over their “Uncle”, and had a great time. They got completely spoiled with snacks and junk food, and all the attention! *LOL* I’m not sorry though, I think it’s awesome that the girls have that family!

I myself have missed Mom and my “brothers and sisters” more than I could have guessed. I think I said in the previous post, that through the years we kind of lost touch with each other, but somehow I don’t see that happening again…Visiting Mom again, talking and visiting with her, it felt like coming home…Know what I mean??

We were sad to see the weekend end, but already have plans to go back up in acouple of weeks. And we do chat on the computer now, almost every day, so that is nice.

Uncle followed us home when we came…He came down to do some fixing on the girls’ bikes. It made him a hero…*LOL*…And he was down last night too. He’s knows a lot of people so he’s going to try and sell my riding lawn mower for me. Fixed my Zippo lighter…He’s a good kid!! I still think of him as my little brother, just heading off to kindergarden…*BS*…Now he’s all grown up and heading off to college in the fall! He’s grown up to be a fine young man!

Well anyway, time for me to go. I’ll do another update soon.

Well this post will be all good stuff! First I’d like to thank Jocelyn over at A Pondering Heart Boutique for this VERY AWESOME blog design!! She was so wonderful to do this for me!! Bless her! She is such a find young lady, and so very talented! Remember that HALF of all profits made from orders will be donated to helping the single-moms, widows, and fatherless at Gleaning the Harvest. Be sure to pop over there yourselves, and learn what you can do to help too!

Now onto my big news. I got to see my Mom today! Well, she’s not my real Mom, she’s actually my Aunt, but I have called her “Mom” since I was 16 years old. We developed such a wonderful and loving relationship over the years, and than she moved away, and I moved away, than we both moved back into the same area, but by then life was just so messed up that I’ve only seen her twice (not counting today) in the 3 years that I’ve been back in Kansas. We haven’t even talked online or on the telephone very much in the past 10 years. Still I knew she would always be there for me, and that I was one of her “kids”. Anyway we talked over the weekend for the first time in 2 years, and we talked about how much we missed each other, so we made “plans” for the girls and I to go visit her sometime this month. Today I got a phone call saying that she and 2 of my cousins were going to come visit! I was sooooo happy!! (Thank God my house was decent!!)…The girls waited by the windows, watching for them to come, it was so sweet and endearing, and kind of annoying (in a loving way) that they kept asking when they would get here!!

The girls got to play with their “Uncle” Steven, climbing all over him and wresling. He’s not really their uncle, he’s my cousin, but they have called them “Uncle” since they were babies. *sigh* To think that I remember him as a kindergardener and now he’ll be going off to college in the fall. He’s grown into a fine young man though! It’s hard to think of him as being all grown up. I’m so proud of the way he takes care of Mom!

Sue, that little freckle faced brat has grown into quite a lady as well! She’s in college, and doing well. The girls and I got to go to her graduation 2 years ago. It’s hard for me to imagine her being all grown up to, but she’s doing well for herself.

Mom worries me. Her health isn’t good, she’s so unsteady on her feet I’m sure she’s going to topple over with the slightest breeze. So skinny compared to the way I remember her years ago, not a healthy skinny if you know what I mean. *sigh* But she’s still the same old Mom when it comes to attitude and mannerism, which is a comfort to me.

It hadn’t occured to me how much I love that woman until I saw her today! Wow, what a revelation to have! I wonder what will happen after Steven goes to college, who will take care of her then…who will be there in case she falls. Things to think about for sure!! Maybe there is something I can do. Things to think about and pray about! I have an idea, just need to seek God’s council on this, and see if that is what HE wants me to do.

Blessings to you all my friends! I hope you have had as wonderful a day as I did!!

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before.

“Leave me alone,” he growled.. To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling — her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. “Are you hungry?” she asked. “No,” he answered sarcastically. “I’ve just come from dining with the president. Now go away.” The woman’s smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. “What are you doing, lady?” the man asked angrily. “I said to leave me alone.

Just then a policeman came up. “Is there any problem, ma’am?” he asked… “No problem here, officer,” the woman answered. “I’m just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?”
The officer scratched his head. “That’s old Jack. He’s been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?” “See that cafeteria over there?” she asked. “I’m going to get him
something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.” “Are you crazy, lady?” the homeless man resisted. “I don’t want to go in there!” Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.
“Let me go, officer. I didn’t do anything.” “This is a good deal for you, Jack,” the officer answered. “Don’t blow it..”

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. “What’s going on here, officer?” he asked. “What is all this. Is this man
in trouble?” “This lady brought this man in here to be fed,” the policeman answered.

“Not in here!” the manager replied angrily. “Having a person like that here is bad for business.” Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. “See, lady. I told you so. Now if you’ll let me go. I didn’t want to come here in the first place.” The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. “Sir, are you
familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?” “Of course I am,” the manager answered impatiently. “They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.” “And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?” “What business is that of yours?” I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.” “Oh.” The woman smiled again. “I thought that might make a difference.” She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. “Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?” “No thanks, ma’am,” the officer replied. “I’m on duty.” “Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?” “Yes, ma’am. That would be very nice.” The cafeteria manager turned on his heel, “I’ll get your coffee for you right away, officer.” The officer watched him walk away. “You certainly put him in his place,” he said. “That was not my intent Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this.”

She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest She stared at him intently. “Jack, do you remember me?” Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes “I think so — I mean you do look familiar.” “I’m a little older perhaps,” she said. “Maybe I’ve even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.” “Ma’am?” the officer said questioningly. He couldn’t believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.

“I was just out of college,” the woman began. “I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn’t find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.”

Jack lit up with a smile. “Now I remember,” he said. “I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy.”
“I know,” the woman continued. “Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that
> you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in the cash register I knew then that everything would be all right.” “So you started your own business?” Old Jack
said. “I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business, that, with the help of God, prospered.” She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. “When
you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He’s the personnel director of my company. I’ll go talk to him now and I’m certain he’ll find something for you to do around the office.” She smiled. “I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always opened to you.”

There were tears in the old man’s eyes. “How can I ever thank you? ” he said…”Don’t thank me,” the woman answered. “To God goes the glory. Thank Jesus…He led me to you.” Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. “Thank you for all
> your help, officer,” she said. “On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,” he answered…”Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And…And thank you for the coffee.”

If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing. If you have missed some of my emails, you might have missed a laugh. But, if you have missed knowing my LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS
CHRIST, you have missed everything in the world. Have a Wonderful Day. May God Bless You Always. And don’t forget that when you “cast your bread upon the waters,” you never know how it will be returned to you. (Hope this is repeated many times today!) God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart.