I Messed Up….Again!!!
So last night the girls and I walked down to a nearby resturant to eat. It was pretty chilly out, but not unbearable, at least not when you have enough layers of clothes on, which I always make sure the kids are bundled up good and tight. On the way down I told them that if it was too cold we could go home, and eat out another night, but they said they were fine…So anyway, we went down, ate, and as we were leaving a friend said that he was going to give us a ride home. I thought that was nice, but unnecesary. Anyway, I was telling him that there was no reason we couldn’t walk home, and he said something about me having kids to think about…and well, I didn’t take that well!! I said that I know that I have kids, and that I take **** good care of my kids….and than I guided my girls over away from his car and just stood there a minute, fighting back the tears as I put Meg’s hood up. He told me that he didn’t mean that in a bad way and that he knows I take good care of the girls, and I know he didn’t mean it in a bad way…Anyway, I put the girls in the car and got in myself, and he brought us home…
Now I feel really stupid for reacting the way I did, because I know he wasn’t accusing me of not taking care of the girls, or anything like that….he was just being nice. I guess I just don’t expect people to be nice, especially men, and don’t have a lot of experience with people being “nice”. So many things have gone on in the past…Did any of you know I was such a cynic??
February 6th, 2009 at 4:36 am
I know how this feels though. As a single parent it’s so easy to be overly-sensitive about what we perceive to be the criticisms of others.
My kids are all grown now and I’m a nana; back when they were little I was single mom to five boys. Yes, five little stair steps. I wouldn’t want to live those days over for anything! Not because it was horrible all the time, but because I was so messed up emotionally that it made everything that much harder.
Well, it does get better. Especially as you seem to be relying on the Lord and wanting to do the right thing. You won’t always get it right of course. You’ll fail in countless ways, so you may as well accept that from the get go. Otherwise you’ll shoot for perfection and drive yourself mad.
I don’t know if this is an encouraging comment. I mean for it to be. My heart goes out to you and your girls–and if mine does, so much more does God’s tender Father heart.
February 21st, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I’m a single mom also. I have two boys, 14 and 7. I have also found Christ and am a new followers so I can relate to your post. Maybe cause I am almost older I have come to realize looking back at my life that God placed people in my life even when I didn’t realize I needed them! Amazing isn’t He? LOL Whenever things were tight or hard emotionally for me and the boys someone – be it a stranger or someone I knew- would pop up! I even had an older male friend who is now my surrogate Dad (mine wasn’t around) who sent me extra money to tide me over when I wasn’t doing too well finacially. God knows what we need even when we don’t… He promised to provide our every need and that night He did it for you and the girls, just like he has done for me and my boys. Although I have to say, He had more faith in me then I had/have in myself LOL Stay strong and keep leaning… its a growing process. I know I stumble ALOT but thankfully He has been there to pick me up. GBU and the girls